


DiNozzo's Secret

by WarnerHedgehog



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-28 16:12:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7647787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarnerHedgehog/pseuds/WarnerHedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony claims to have been on a date. It was a lie. What was he really up to?<br/>I might big up McGee and Gibbs's cause for nosing at Tony if I can work out how and where to shoehorn something in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bullpen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at the NCIS office.

Tim was sat at his desk, sifting through the phone records of fraudster Michael Wenlock. He'd been at it for ten minutes when Tony cheerfully waltzed in, "Mornin' McGeek. Whatcha working on?"  
McGee looked up, "You're horribly jolly this morning. Hot date with a pizza boy last night?"  
"Well at least I had a date, Timmy." Tony shot back.  
Before any more insults could be traded, Ziva walked in, "Are you two having a lover's squirrel again?"  
"That's 'quarrel' and McMuffin there is only jealous because his only date is a computer game character called Olive the Ork." grinned DiNozzo.  
"So who was this hot chick then? A Rhode Island Red?" Tim asked.  
Tony smirked at Tim, "Har har Probikins. For your information, I was at the Green Goose with a lovely lady called Freida, besides you haven't answered my question. Whatcha working on?"  
"Wenlock's phone records as well as those of his alter-ego Frank Weatherly. This guy practically lives on the phone: I'm amazed his ear isn't cooked." mused McGee.  
"Who's this Freida then?" Asked David.  
Before anyone could reply, DiNozzo's desk phone rang, "DiNozzo. Oh, hi Abs." he paused as Abby gabbled at him, "On my way." He put the phone down and turned to Tim, "Abby's found something in that stuff we got from Wenlock's storage. This could be good." With that he walked over to the lift. To McGee and Ziva he practically skipped.  
"That must have been one hell of a date." stated Ziva as the elevator doors shut.  
"Tony's been on another date? His little black book's got to be bigger that the Encyclopaedia Britannica by now." Gibbs quipped as he walked down the stairs.  
"Yeah, he said he was out last night with some girl called Freida at the Green Goose. She's got to be important to go to that joint." Tim said as he worked at his computer.  
Gibbs looked over at McGee, "No he wasn't. I was there most of the evening with the DC Boat Builder's Guild. It was our AGM and we took the place over so unless he's secretly been making a yacht then he's up to something."  
"The question is what, and is this Freida real?" Tim pondered.  
"Tell you what McGee. You're going to find out." Gibbs grinned, "I want you to investigate what DiNozzo's up to. Think of it as a sort of homework assignment: a way to brush up and practice your detective skills."  
McGee looked very worried, "That doesn't sound entirely legal boss. Wouldn't I need a warrant or something? Or at least a disclaimer signed by the Director. If Tony finds out I'm snooping into his life he'll kill me."  
"You got a point McGee." Jethro replied, "Think of it like this, he lied to us and that's not like DiNozzo at all, he may occasionally bend or twist the truth but that was an outright lie and therefore something isn't right. He could be in trouble, he could being blackmailed by someone. Yes, I'll admit it is a bit of a stretch and chances are he was at home and stuffing his face with pizza while watching Rio Bravo but never mind. We will sort you out a warrant for this as there is the possibility of a breach of security."  
"Are you sure about this boss? I mean it's not as if he's a cold war spy or anything." complained McGee.  
Gibbs gave Tim a slightly exasperated look, "Yes I'm sure. If some agency has compromised him or he's got himself involved in something dangerous we have to find out and help. It's sort of our job."  
Tim looked up and quickly pondered the idea: the more he though about it, the more he liked it, "Right you are boss. I will get a warrant and then poke my nose into Tony's life. I will let you know what I find."  
Jethro replied as he casually picked a file up, "Good. Take your time, be thorough and don't let him know you're watching him and don't go breaking into his flat or anything like that. Just do it nice and easy. The truth probably isn't that complicated anyway. Just finish that Wenlock stuff first."  



	2. On the case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim considers his mission.

Four hours later and McGee (now complete with warrant) was on his lunch break. He was sat at his desk munching a roll and absent-mindedly flicking through Wenlock's phone records when a thought occurred: look up Tony's phone records. Taking care to look bored, he typed in Agent DiNozzo's number and watched as a list of numbers came up. A few calls to Ziva, one or two to Dominoes and several calls to...a cell phone. "Who are you?" he muttered to himself and typed that number in. It belonged to a Mark Carroll, who according to their database was a shooting instructor at a range in Rockville. A little more digging revealed four other numbers common to both Carroll and DiNozzo, two ladies by the names of Sasha Holly and Roxy Harmon and two other guys, a Jeremy Kelly and Henry Kyle. McGee quickly put the new info onto his PDA and exited the screen. Last thing he needed was to be discovered by Tony DiLightful halfway through his phone records. He'd continue this later, but now it was back to work: Michael Wenlock, a one-time petty officer who was scamming people out of thousands wasn't going to investigate himself. The phone records seem to indicate several possible accomplices and assorted other contacts, all of whom needed examining. Just for a break, and armed with a small list of names, Tim ambled down to Abby's lab to see if any of Wenlock's junk would help make things clearer.  
"Hey there McGee!" Exclaimed Miss Scuito as Tim walked in.  
"Hey Abs. How's the trawl through our conman's stash going?" asked Tim as he poked a slightly grotty carriage clock.  
"Y'know, it's almost as if he's been taking stuff from people and this is the junk he couldn't sell on. All of this stuff looks like it should be antique but just isn't and none of it belongs together." Abby picked up what looked like a 17th century sword, "Take this for example: it looks like it should have been on a civil war battlefield but from what I can tell it was made five years ago."  
Tim grabbed a small statuette and lightly examined it, "I presume this wonderful...thing has a similar vintage."  
"Correct. All that staining is deliberate: it's been made to look old but it's just a cheap fake. That carriage clock? Looks like an antique but the badly hidden chinese-made mechanism ruins that illusion."  
"OK. So our Mr Wenlock may have been storing this lot to try and sell off later, or its reject stuff he couldn't sell off yet." McGee mused. Time to ask about Tony, but McGee decided not to let on to Abigail just yet. Keep it low key for now, "Tony say about his big date last night? Some girl called Freida apparently."  
"Yeah, he came in grinning like a Cheshire cat and when I asked why he was so cheery on a Tuesday morning he said he'd been out to the Green Goose and he couldn't wait to go back again. I hope this one lasts longer than Jessica."  
"Aah Jessica, the five second romance. And it looked so promising too." This elicited a giggle from Abby, "Anyway back to our con man." Tim spent the rest of the day helping Abby sort through and catalogue Wenlock's fake antique collection. It didn't help the case any but needed doing all the same.  
That evening Tim sat at his computer at home, thinking about Tony and his seemingly fictitious date. Who were these odd unknown people on his contact list and where was he the previous night. What was the movie obsessed ex police detective up to? Tomorrow he would check out these contacts and look for a common theme. There was an answer and Timothy McGee, ace investigator, "god that sounds corny" Tim said to himself, would find out what it was.


	3. The Investigation Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McGee looks into DiNozzo a bit more.

Wednesday morning found McGee putting together a monitoring program to look at Wenlock's phone activity. When certain numbers were called, it would record that conversation for evidence. Some digging by DiNozzo had turned up a third identity: a definitely deceased yeoman called Sean Macallum was still apparently collecting money somehow and mysteriously withdrawing that money, and Wenlock appeared to be acting as his ghost. It would seem Macallum, although dead, had recently managed to buy himself a mobile and was still somehow using it. "What a complicated afterlife you lead." Was how Tony had put it.  
McGee's work was a success, thus allowing Gibbs and DiNozzo to go to MTAC to proudly show Director Vance the case progress so far. While they were crowing to the boss, Tim finished work on his side-project model of the phone snooper: He'd put together a phone App version and planned to use that to monitor Tony's calls, specifically the ones to this odd little group he appeared to be in.  
After that was installed, he started on backgrounding DiNozzo's little band of contacts. What linked them? What was the connection? 'Start at the start' he told himself and started a simple profile spreadsheet of the group, beginning with Tony.  
Anthony D DiNozzo: ex Baltimore cop and current NCIS agent. Abilities: good with a gun, Encyclopaedic film knowledge, plays guitar, massively childish, skilled investigator and probable wino. After a moment's reflection, he deleted 'probable wino' and replaced it with "leader of the Washington DC wino society'.  
Next up: Mark Carroll. "Let's see who you are then." He said to himself.  
"See who who is McGarnicle?" Asked DiNozzo as he walked back to his desk.  
Tim was ready for this and was prepared for DiMoviey's unexpected arrival: "Donald Glasberg, he's an accountant and a contact on all three of Wenlock's phones. We have ourselves a possible accomplice."  
"So our con merchant has help does he? What do we know?" DiNozzo enquired.  
Tim tapped a few keys and Glasberg's profile flashed up on the plasma. "Donald Odysseus Glasberg, employee of Daly, Grant and Moonves accountants for fifteen years. Originally from the little town of Minerva in Ohio, he moved here seventeen years ago. He has a sister, Tabitha Calypso and a younger brother, Harold Telemachus. He is unmarried and lives in a little house in Falls Church. Owns a boat, a small yacht called the Anne-Marie which is usually moored at the James Creek marina."  
"Any obvious criminal activity?" Asked the Senior agent.  
McGee was prepared for this as well, "A couple of speeding tickets and last year he got thrown out of that horrendous Irish bar The Golden Shamrock for verbally abusing the staff. Apparently he really can't handle his alcohol. Apart from that, nothing."  
"Well keep digging my little dogged detective. Don't stop until you uncover the truth about our potentially problematic money monkey. It's lunchtime and I'm off to the Yards Park to enjoy this wonderful weather." With that DiNozzo strode purposefully toward the lift.  
Ziva, who had been typing up a report about a previous case looked up, "Our film barf is off to the Yards Park? I thought he hated that place."  
"He does." Tim replied suspiciously, "Or he did. Maybe this 'Freida' likes it. He's right you know: It is lunchtime, so I'm going to walk conveniently past and see who he's with. See you in a while."  
While casually buying a hot dog from a street vendor, McGee looked about for Tony. Suddenly he spotted his fellow agent sat at a table with a roundish looking guy who he recognised as Tony's friend Mark Carroll. As he watched they were joined by another member of their group who he was sure was Sasha Holly. "Weirder and weirder." Muttered McGee quietly as he mooched back to the office.  
He spent the rest of the day looking up DiNozzo's associates in between work tasks.  
Sat at home that evening and looking at his little database of Tony, McGee noticed a link. They were all one time band members. Carroll played keyboard with several bands, Tony played guitar with Rock Hamster in college, Sasha Holly and Jeremy Kelly were in a blues outfit called Moonbeam and Henry Kyle was bassist with Sonic Frog. By the looks of it, it seemed a new band were being formed. "Okay Timmy boy, you have a hypothesis. Now prove it and get some details." He said to himself.  
Tomorrow he would get more dirt. Was it a band? Was it something else? More digging was required.


	4. The Truth Revealed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McGee finds out.

The following week saw further progress with both Wenlock and The DiNozzo Mystery. A group effort to dig through the complex finances of their fraudster and his aliases turned up a whole slew of irregularities and suspicious transfers, enough evidence was uncovered that they could finally bring the man in for questioning.  
Tony and Ziva were sent to go grab him, thus giving Tim a chance to quickly eye up DiNozzo's iPod. The last song played was Abba's 'Voulez Vous' and there was a lot of other Abba on there. Careful to return it to how he left it, he put it back and went back to work. "Didn't know you were into Abba." he thought, "in a band doing a few old pop tunes? Now now Tim, this is all circumstantial. Do not jump to conclusions yet: prove, don't guess."  
A break came the following week when Tony took a phone call. Thanks to McGee's little recording app, this was what Tim listened to later that day:  
**Tony: Hi Roxy. How's Greg?  
** **Roxy: Hey Tony, Greg's good. We have a slight, er, hiccup tonight.  
** **Tony: We got a problem?  
** **Roxy: Yeah, but only a little one. The usual place by the Green Goose is taken tonight, but Mark knows a place over in Brookmont we can use.  
** **Tony: Cool Roxy. Got an address?  
** **Roxy: 1002 64th street.  
** **Tony: Ok, got it. See you there. Usual time?  
** **Roxy: Yeah. Catch you Later Tone.**

That evening, Timothy McGee was lurking near the practice hall, taking care to stay out of sight. He watched as Tony pulled up and then got out of his car, casually amble round to the back and pull a big black case from the trunk. Next he extracted what looked just like a guitar amp. He then locked his car and went into the hall.  
Agent McGee waited to see if anyone else turned up, which was wise as a couple more cars arrived and some familiar faces unloaded a fair bit of what looked like musical equipment and took it inside.  
After about 20 minutes, Tim quietly crossed over to the hall and crept around the back, trying to listen out for, well, anything. Another ten minutes and there was music. "Chiquitita" to be precise, and to Tim's ears it sounded good. An hour of eavesdropping and he was convinced, this was actually a pretty damn good Abba tribute band and they were gearing up for a performance. Tony's lie was no more than vaguely twisted truth: he was with a girl singing Freida near the Green Goose.  
"Right. All I need now is your band name and performance date and time." said Tim in his head. Unfortunately for eavesdroppers, while the music rang out from the hall quite nicely, conversations didn't.  
So instead he consulted the internet for upcoming Swedish pop tribute acts doing performances, and was rewarded with one name: "Nabba Abba" and they were at the Birchmere Music Hall this weekend. He checked to see if they had a website and they did, and there was a picture of the group with a grinning DiNozzo on one side.  
With that being the clincher, he cleared his phone snooping app, deactivated it and went home to delete his spreadsheet and to see about tickets.  
The next day he told Gibbs about DiNozzo's musical activities and got a laugh and a "Good job McGee" for his troubles. High praise indeed given Gibbs's talkative nature.  
That weekend Tim, Ziva, Abby and Palmer went to see Nabba Abba in concert and a good concert it was. There was DiNozzo, Bjorning it up and by the looks of it thoroughly enjoying himself. They could have used this as ammo for weeks, but instead chose not to: They rather liked this side of their film-crazy colleague.  
They're looking forward to the next gig.  
They might even try to drag Gibbs along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thoroughly silly story and I can't picture Tony as Bjorn at all. He'd have to be all sparkly and shiny, and that is so not DiNozzo. At least I don't think it is. I just wanted him doing something, well, daft and it was either this or Line Dancing.  
> We know Mr D plays guitar as his undercover assignment for Director Shepard showed us and I figured it'd be nice for him to get his musical mojo back on.  
> Rock on Tony, Rock on.


End file.
